Some days I wake up already off. Not tired, not distracted, just wired wrong, like something never shut down the night before and now it’s still running in the background. Those are the days when everything feels like it’s pushing in at once, and I can feel that edge starting to build, the kind that doesn’t go away on its own.

I do meditate. And on the right days, it works. It slows things down, gives me space, lets everything settle the way it’s supposed to. But not on these mornings. These are the ones where my brain never really stopped. It just ran all night, and I wake up exhausted, already on edge, already halfway to wanting to burn the world.

That’s when I turn to something most people would assume makes it worse. Heavy metal. Loud, fast, relentless. It doesn’t make it worse. It takes the edge and gives it somewhere to go.

There’s a reason for that, even if it sounds backward. In 2015, researchers Leah Sharman and Genevieve Dingle looked at how people respond to extreme music, including heavy metal, and what they found wasn’t what most people expect. It didn’t make listeners angrier. It didn’t push them further out of control. It helped them regulate what they were already feeling.

That lines up with what I figured out the hard way. On the days when my head is quiet enough, I can slow things down, sit with it, breathe through it, let it settle. That’s where meditation works. When everything is already loud, trying to force calm feels like you’re adding more pressure, not relief. It’s like trying to silence something that has no volume control.

Heavy metal doesn’t fight that state. It takes hold of the state via rhythm, providing my head with a place to connect with the foundation (the construct) of the music/noise. My thoughts, instead of bouncing wildly all around, will begin to move in unison with something beyond me; this is all very important to me and helps me be able to relax without pretending I am not at an edge.

Sometimes you just need to put the headphones on and let the music hit as hard as your head feels.